Cats are adorable. Everyone knows this. Whether you’re allergic, or want to praise Sparky’s loyalty from here to Zion, you have likely slipped into that black hole of cats on the internet at some point in your adult life. Admit it. What can I say? We’re pretty darn amusing!

Unfortunately, our author fur parents are not always amused by our comic relief, when they’re trying to focus on writing their novel. How can they, when we want to sit on the keyboard? Head-butt their hands when they use the mouse? Or knock the whole monitor off the desk, as my sister once did?

The good news is, there are a few tricks you can use to keep us busy while you write. Here are a few to help you get that manuscript finished without putting Mr. Whiskers up for adoption!

Match Feeding Time with Writing Time

Cats are not as easily swayed by food as dogs are, but if you know you’re going to write, it’s probably a good time to take that food bowl away a few hours before you sit down at your desk.

Cruel as this is, we will be happy when you return it with fresh food later on. Dry food is unlikely to do the trick, so if you’re wise, you’ll have the fishiest bit of wet food waiting for us before you start writing.

Keep Treats Handy

Like I said, cats are usually not as easily swayed by food as our canine companions. This is partially because we are used to having access to dry food all day anyway, but also because we know full well we can hunt for our own food if it comes to it. However, if you know your cat, you know there are some things we cannot resist. For me, that’s catnip, tuna, and shrimp!

The bad news is though, food can only keep us busy for so long before we come back to sit in front of the monitor and take a bath while you try to see between a raised leg, and a jelly belly. Oops?

Lock the Door

In times like these, there is only one thing to do, lock the door. If your office does not have a door you can lock, this might be a really good time to consider getting a laptop, so you can write from the bedroom. Just saying.

Well, did I mention that chances are, we are going to meow ’til kingdom come outside that door? I have also learned the uncanny trick of turning the door knob! Even if it doesn’t open the door, it always gets the human’s attention. And if I have her attention, then The Moreau Witches sure don’t. So guess who just has to open the door again?

You Can’t. Sorry, Not Sorry

By now, you’ve probably realized you have no choice but to give in and rub our tummy, scratch our ears, and whip out the laser. Surely, it can’t be so bad that we want your attention and love?

You can always get back to your writing once we fall asleep in your lap ten minutes later. But whatever you do, don’t get up — or we’re starting this mess all over again.

You’re welcome!

About the Author

Shadow the PR Cat is the Goodwill Ambassador at Alexis Chateau PR, and head of the firm’s indie author division. His job includes tweeting, taking selfies, rolling in catnip, and advocating for animal rights and social equality. Follow his kitty adventures on Twitter as @ShadowThePRcat.